REGISTER OF
DISCIPLINE ADMINISTERED
AT ST. AUGUSTINE'S GRAMMAR SCHOOL
(as recalled by the boys)
Whether you were unlucky enough to
receive "Six of the Best" or a lesser punishment...
Fill in a docket to retrieve the event from oblivion and be
entered into the Discipline Register...
(The faint hearted should should switch off sound before
proceeding!)
Norman Kavanagh
Entry year: 1973
For the terrible 'crime' of leaving my gaberdine in the cloakroom
overnight,I was summoned to Spike's office.Despite having given
my all in representing the school the previous night at
football,this counted for nothing,I was given six of the best.
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Terence (Tex) Birch
Entry year: 1967
Bless me Webmaster for I have sinned:
Being an ardent United fan I decided one lunchtime to write MUFC
of the blackboard of our form room (1F 1967). Unfortunately, and
as there was no chalk to hand, I used the edge of a wooden rule
which, as you have probably guessed, permanently marked the
board. Alas all of this was watched by one Taras Cymbalisty who
took great delight at my predicament and threatened to tell Pete
Foley our formmaster on his return. Advantage Cymbalisty.
Deciding that the best form of defence was attack, I elected to
'carve' Stockport County onto the board as I knew Taras supported
the Hatters. Deuce.
As night follows day, Pete Foley returned and asked for an
explanation whereupon Taras lept to his feet and said Sir, Sir,
it was Birch it was Birch! Naturally I denied Taras's account and
explained that he had in fact etched the board whilst I was
reading a book (???), Homer's Illiad I think.
I added, for effect, that I was sure he hadn't intended to cause
permanent damage and it was just a bit of a prank.
Unable to unmuddy the waters Pete sent both of us to Spike where
we repeated our seperate versions of events. Unable to break the
deadlock and with Taras now hyperventilating I offered a solution
in the form of an eye witness who I recalled was also sat reading
that afternoon!
Spike, not being quite as clever as some of you seem to think,
duly despatched me to collect my witness and good friend, the
tragically now deceased, Gerry Sundquist. Naturally I was able to
remind Ged of the exact order of events on our way back to
Spike's office, and after a virtuoso performance that even left
me wondering who was guilty Taras received six of the very best
on my behalf and his behind.
There's nothing quite like schoolboy honour and that certainly
wasn't anything like it.
Forgive me Taras and I'll buy you a beer at the reunion.
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Harry Davis
Entry year: 1976
Failing to produce homework (more than once) and making feeble
excuses
Strokes administered: 6
Duty Master at Greenroom
Barney Booth
Entry year: 1970
There were loads of us smoking at the farm.All of a sudden
everybody except me and Steve Ball put their fags out. I looked
around and there was Jasper, who'd come to buy fags from the Blue
Rinse Lady.
"Booth and Ball-Headmaster!"
We both got 6, and banned from leaving the school grounds for a
week (Oh, the cruelty!)
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
David House
Entry year: 1968
Eating sandwiches during a French lesson after being warned the
previous lesson
Strokes administered: 6
Duty Master at Greenroom
barry cox
Entry year: 1969
damaged a chair having a fun fight
Strokes administered: 6
Duty Master at Greenroom
Barney Booth
Entry year: 1970
In 3G our form room was next to the Lecture Demo Room.We were
throwing water bombs down at the first years in the playground.
Someone shouted "Tweedie! Run for it!"
We all split and I ended up in the nearby toilets, still with a
water bomb in my hand.
Next thing Tweedie (the "popular" head boy) appeared
through the door. I quickly stood at the urinal and pretended to
pee. I overestimated him, because he did no more than peer over
the top of the urinal. I was holding a water bomb in my hand. So he
sent me to spike.
At Spike's office there was a selection of 1st and 3rd years
waiting to go in.
We then got the "Come in!" instruction bawled out.
He sentenced the 1st years to 3 whacks and the 3rd years to 6. I
got 3 and then he stopped. Spike never knew me from Adam all my
time at Augustines so I thought he thought I was a 1st year. So I
walked away. He waited until I was at the door before he called
me back.He gave me another 3, still with the thick , black strap
(the one that left the bruises)
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
barney booth
Entry year: 1970
Belching very loudly in the library. I was reported by Matthews
junior (I can't remember his christian name)
I got sent to the green room and got two from Denny Howells
Strokes administered: 2
Duty Master at Greenroom
John Ross
Entry year: 1975
Was caught smoking
Strokes administered: 3
Duty Master at Greenroom
Willy Burke
Entry year: 1969
Year of entry '69 Too numerous to recall, there was barely a day
went by without having to bend over a chair in either the
headmasters office or the green room. My first visit however was
quite memorable.
The previous day super footballer Big Andy McDougal forgot to
bring his maths homework in.
Strokes administered: 2
Duty Master at Greenroom
Des Cox (1973)
Entry year: 1973
Singing at full soprano 3 seconds behind everyone else during
hymns at assembly when caught by the eagle eyes of Spike and sent
straight to his office where I had to wait while 600 pyjama boys
walked past offering no signs of sympathy and then getting 6 of
the hardest whacks I ever had (and I had many!)
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Terry Stanton (1972)
Entry year: 1972
Mr Hall (serious weirdo) who taught classics, used to have us
recite a prayer at the end of class. After generally getting on
his nerves throughout the lesson, he picked on me to recite the
Hail Mary. As a good catholic boy of 15 I knew the tune but had
completely forgot the words. As he thought I was taking the piss,
I was duly sent to Spike. As our beloved head was a ranking
officer of the church I through myself at his mercy and told the
truth, I honestly couldn't remember the words. Spike took this
into account and after negotiation we settled on 4 strokes.
I decided that, as my relationship with Mr Hall was not the best
(I used to take the piss out of him supporting Stockport County),
he was not going to catch me out again. I wrote the Hail Mary on
the back of my pocket diary, Ha Ha!
The next lesson he picked on my mate Paul Douglas. Suprise
Suprise he did not know the words also. I went to pass him my
diary to help him out when that bastard Hall intercepted it. As
we were leaving at the end of the day I asked for my diary back.
He refused. I told him that inside the diary was my match ticket
to watch United play Derby that evening. I said he could keep the
diary i only wanted the ticket as it had cost me 20p and the
match was all ticket. He said he would return it the following
day. I pointed out that it was too late. He just smiled. I went
home ticketless. My dad found out and went into school the next
morning. I was summonsed out of class the next morning to the
Heads office. When I entered there was my dad and Spike. My dad
argued my case then Mr Hall entered (smiling). He said that I had
called him a Bastard and that was his reason. I never did,
Although from that day on I cannot think of him without thinking
he was a complete Bastard.
Thankyou for hearing my confession, I've waited 25 years to get
that off my chest. Who says catholicism isn't good for you!
Strokes administered: 4
Headmaster
Nick Wall
Entry year: 1969
Smoking in the pavillion in Holyhedge Park. There were 4-5 of us
- myself, Bernie Flynn, John Collins, plus 1-2 others. We were
actually setting fire to some newspapers in the pavillion. The
park keeper reported us to Spike for smoking (true in one sense,
I guess). We all went into Spike's office at the same time to
receive our treatment (six of the best). This was unfortunate for
me - Bernie Flynn went just before me and the sight of clouds of
dust rising from the seat of his pants as each stroke was
administered made me burst out in laughter. This was not well
received by Spike and he added two more strokes to my backside!
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
John Gill
Entry year: 1969
Having a brilliant fight in the art room with, I suspect, Mark
Greenall and Ged Battle (it usually was). The fight consisted of
hurling lumps of gum arabic around the room whilst jumping over
tables etc. The gum arabic lumps shattered when they hit the
wall. Unfortunately, Spike came out of his office, which was
directly across the courtyard and could see us through the 2 sets
of windows (eyes like a hawk that man). He didn't see the funny
side or give us credit for the athletic effort involved in
leaping the tables. No mercy was shown. Six of his very
considerable best!
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Anthony Hulse
Entry year: 1971
Did a Judo throw on Joseph McLaughlin while waiting for the 80.
Spike asked me what I deserved, and we haggled from 1 (my low
number) and 8 (his high number), until we agreed on 6. Do you
remember how you had to tuck your elbows into the chair so your
posterior was presented properly? He also took some time choosing
the right strap for the job. This time he used a flat one with
five tassles at the end,.
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Simon Johnson (Francis Connor,Martin Barber,Rob Byrne)
Entry year: 1973
Sent to stand outside biology lab by Griffin for fun - 2 outside
each door - making faces at each other when the lads at the other
ends expressions changed - caught by Matthews on the prowl. I got
pushed to the front by Babs & the others - we got 4 each -
Matthews naming me the ringleader !!!!!!!!!
Strokes administered: 4
Duty Master at Greenroom
Peter Good
Entry year: 1971
French woman teacher remarked that she didn't mind where we did
our homework but sent me to Spike after I added, honestly, that
I'd done mine on the bus that morning.
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
mark brennan
Entry year: 1969
having caps ( the detonating type) 6
supplying calcium carbide 6
fighting with bernie flynn 6
Strokes administered: 6
Chris Doran
Entry year: 1974
Deliberately mis-reading a question in the Catechism in Dr.
Griffin's lesson so that it read 'Is the Pope inflammable?
Strokes administered: 3
Headmaster
Steve Law
Entry year: 1975
Sent out of class by Mr Paisley for laughing during one of his
poetry recitals.
Strokes administered: 6
Duty Master at Greenroom
Andrew Lomax
Entry year: 1976
While running down the corridor due to being late from class,
tripped and knocked down 2 fellow classmates. Received 6 from
Headmaster
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Andrew Lomax
Entry year: 1976
For Laughing in assembly, having my tie the wrong way round,
endless throwing out of class, Spike once said he may present me
with the punishment book as I had the most entries.
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
andy walsh 1974
Entry year: 1974
firing a Diane SP50 air pistol at the notice board (situated
adjacent to the class room door) in 1M
just as Jim McCabe walked in! Sorry Sir !
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Andrew Weaver
Entry year: 1972
For leaving gaberdine (i.e. raincoat) in school over the weekend.
Mitigating circumstances (I had been on a school trip that
weekend and had gone straight from school with no chance to take
coat home)
Arguments for the Defence heard but dismissed with no right to
appeal granted.
Strokes administered: 2
Headmaster
Dave Espley
Entry year: 1975
Flicking paper pellets during one of Mr Halls' particularly
raucous biology lessons.
The docket said 'firing pellets,' and when Mr Matthews enquired,
'were you flicking them?' I said that I was. This, I have to
confess now, was not the complete truth. I'd actually been
chewing the paper into mushy lumps, putting them into the end of
a bicycle pump and launching them at something approaching light
speed at the boys in the row in front. I wouldn't be at all
surprised if some of them still have the scars to this day.
I received a couple of Mr Matthews' extremely feeble strokes
rather than the horsewhipping I no doubt would have experienced
had I confessed the truth.
Strokes administered: 2
Duty Master at Greenroom
David House
Entry year: 1968
Pat Rattigan and I convinced Martin Pickersgill that we could
give him the sensation of flying. Took him to hill. Pat massaged
temples and then we threw him off. Bad move. Spike was watching.
6 of best each (including Pickers).
Strokes administered: 6
Duty Master at Greenroom
Mike Maybury
Entry year: 1969
Sent by Mr O Mahoney, maths teacher, for talking in class. Told
by Spike I was getting 3. When I bent over the chair, my packet
of Players No. 6 fell out of my pocket so I got 6.
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Chris Mazzitelli
Entry year: 1975
Telling Mr.Paisley to F*** O** during an English lesson.
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
DAVID WILLIAMS (CLASS OF '74)
Entry year: 1974
ATTEMPTED RIOT, AND ARSON, DURING MATCH FIRE FIGHT, OF 44 BUS
BETWEEN ST AUGUSTINE'S AND NORTHENDEN. ENTIRE BUS OFFLOADED AT
NORTHENDEN SHOPS (NEXT TO FARMER'S ARMS) AND ENTIRE BUST
STRAPPED, 6 OF THE BEST EACH, ON NEXT DAY, BY A PRODUCTION LINE
OF FOUR TEACHERS (MR RIGBY WAS ONE, MR INGRAM ANOTHER, BUT CAN'T
REMEMBER THE REST, OR THE SUPERVISING TEACHER LEADING US TO OUR
DOOM).
I WAS INNOCENT, OF COURSE, BUT EVERYBODY ELSE WASN'T - DEFENCE
COUNSEL WAS DISCOURAGED.
REMEMBER QUEUING UP FOR MR INGRAM, BUT GETTING MR RIGBY.
GOD IT HURT, BUT CORPORAL PUNISHMENT NEVER DID ME ANY HARM.
TRY TELLING THAT TO THE YOUTH OF TODAY, AND THEY'LL NEVER BELIEVE
YOU !
YES MATRON; JUST COMING.
CRAYONS AND ROUNDED EDGE SCISSORS.
AAH.........
Strokes administered: 6
Pete Law and Ciaran McCarthy
Entry year: 1973
Insubordination after warning
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Steve Law
Entry year: 1976
caught giggling in Maths Lesson.
Strokes administered: 4
Duty Master at Greenroom
Steve (Jeff) Beck
Entry year: 1975
Wagging PE. Escaped to the library with Johnny Marr to player
electric guitar pressed against the wooden tables. Caught very
quickly.
Strokes administered: 6
Duty Master at Greenroom
John Beck and half of class 1L
Entry year: 1973
Riotous shouting of football chants between lessons. Caught by
Adrian Jessett, 18 or so boys sent to Spike. All in his office
asked one by one what they were up to. Seventeen answers of
Strokes administered: 1
Headmaster
John Beck and Mike Griffin
Entry year: 1973
Talking and generally larking about in lesson and sent to Spike.
Relatively minor offence compounded by refusal to admit guilt and
complex cover story regarding missing pages in text books. Case
for the defence collapsed under cross-examination and six each
the outcome.
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Stephen Leahy
Entry year: 1969
Caught hitting Peter Callaghan over the head with a hymn book in
chapel(threatened with excommunication also) highlight of school
career- worth every stroke!
Strokes administered: 3
Headmaster
Stephen Leahy
Entry year: 1969
Not having my name on recorder(day 3 of 1st year)- welcome to St
Augustines
Strokes administered: 1
Headmaster
Phil Howells and Peter McCauley
Entry year: 1973
Running in the corridor
Strokes administered: 2
Duty Master at Greenroom
Phil Howells (along with Pete Law, Martin Willoughby, Dave
Ireland, Peter McCauley (I think) and Ciaran McCarthy
Entry year: 1973
End of year, joker Jeff Beeley up the front marking exam papers,
no work set (I think) and boys will be boys. A bit of harmless
paper plane flying from the third floor Physics lab escalated
as construction became larger until Dave Ireland dragged a huge
(A1?) piece of sugar paper from one of the cupboards, folded it
and launched it through the window. Naturally, it flew like a
brick
but drew the attention of both Spike who had spotted the build
up of projectiles in the playground and Mr Beeley who couldn't
possibly miss this one and we were all duly sent. Either Pete
Law or Ciaran McCarthy managed to talk their way out of it, but
but rest of us, after hearing one of Spike's anecdotes about
how some of the chaps at Cambridge used to have water pistols,
and witnessing Martin Willoughby in such fits of giggling/fear
that he had to stuff a handkerchief into his mouth, we all
duly recieved six of the best.
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Martin Wilson
Entry year: 1974
Walking too quickly down a corridor
Strokes administered: 6
Headmaster
Peter Fay
Entry year: 1969
Caught cheating in class French vocabulary test along with two
others
Strokes administered: 3
Headmaster