Memorable Quotes

Contributions to webmaster

"All great schools have an organ . . ."

"Today is the start of summer, and from henceforth, raincoats are compulsory only on days of inclement weather"

"Comprehensive schools are just the thing - for other people's children"

"Until I have enough volunteers, you can all SHIT IN YOUR PANTS"

"My dear boys I have today received a telegram, and the address is The North  Pole........"

"My  thanks as always to Mr  and  Mrs  Addis  for all the  jollifications in the assembly  hall..."

"Mr  Jessett, all these boys at the back are singing two octaves lower than they should"

"Boys, for your pensum domesticum tonight..."

"Now, dear boy, for another late Victorian Assembly. I love them."

"None of your Catholic rubbish here!" (of hymns)

"I got a colour television last night . . .
. . . I painted it red!"

Re: asbestos mats
"they were as best as we could get"

"So here we have an Astronomical Telescope. It cost 20.
Now that's what I call Astronomical."

"Ohm sweet Ohm"

"We are having a test on Monday - it isn't heavy,  it's on light"

"Oh Pwiamus . . ." (sic)



"Get the gist. . ."

"Are you talking to me or chewing a brick?"

"Delectable, . . .Lamentable"

"It's NOT a weighing machine, it's a balance"

"You'll never make it into medicine, Baglin"

"7 x 7 = 49"

"I think I am a nice man"

"Selectives wait behind, non-selectives go to your classes...'"

"Italics" (eye-tah-leeks)

"Spot on"

"The negative sandwich with the PP out in the cold"

"Life is tough, so shut your face"

"There's only one T in Nous Vous"

"Are you Pete Law's Brother? - Come and sit at the front."

"Pattercake, pattercake.."

"Please be upstanding for the Headmaster and his guests"

"We like Sheep!"

"Siddown, shuddup an' ged on with the map"
"Get out your jotter booooks"
"Take a looook at yer booooks"

"Is that clear, Clear?"

1. "I don't feel like a lesson today....what should we talk about instead?"
2. "Sir, Sex, Sir"

"Fire?......don't be stupid boy"

"Full Plopissimo on toast"

"Is that you Jefferies?
"My Godfathers"
"Get out Smiler Boy"

"Griffin-what's the French for Strawberry?"
"Le Strawb, Sir"

"Who were John the Baptists parents?"
"Mr and Mrs Baptist"

"Eh? - to me!!"

"Go for the stick!"

"Honestly,Mr says winking in class"

"At long last I've managed to get a gate erected between the school and
HollyHedge Park.The next step is for a fence........."

The photographer's priceless quote just before taking the 1971 School Photo:-
" All I can see is a load of Noses....."

"Can anyone tell me either of the 2 "ism's" of 19th Century art?"
"Please,sir........George Chisholm"

"I can still tell you're talking,Campbell, even though you're facing the opposite way!"
"He talks through his arse, Sir!"

"Would anybody be interested in going to a talk on some of the planets in the Solar System?
"As long as it's not about Uranus"

"Get out and knock!!...........oh,sorry Mr Beeley"

"Smith, what's French for "The Seagull"?"
"Write out the answer ten times!!"
"Cahill...."The Vacuum Cleaner"? "
"Ten Times!!"
"Farrell..."To walk" ?"
"Ten Times!!"

"It's only physical pain ; we leave your mind alone"

"I don't care how long I stay behind"

"A death worse than fate"

"pedicabo et irrumabo vos"

"Come here while I flick your ear!"