Stripes in Magenta
The Electronic Newsletter of St Augustine's Grammar School, Sharston Mount, M22 4PJ 30 April 2003
Summer Term Issue 8
From the Headmaster News Old Boys Old Staff
Looking Back Miscellaneous Classified Births Deaths and Marriages
Letters to Editor Cybergems    

Distributed to all Old Boys, Staff and "Friends of St Augustine's" with known email addresses.
Please (print and) forward to any not on emailing list.

"From the Headmaster" Stripes in Magenta
In place of the customary Headmaster's address, (consequent on the Headmaster's lack of availability for this edition of "Stripes" )
** A statement will read by the Head of Department for the Department of Information, **

Some of you may have confused and bewildered by a story that Co-Educationalist Forces have alighted and taken control at the Gatley Bus Terminus: I can tell you that this is complete nonsense - lies, lies and infamous lies that are put about to frighten you. They have been comprehensively defeated.They are not within 100 miles of Gatley. I am not afraid and neither should you be. Our boys continue to traverse the streets of Gatley freely. I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place.

Likewise you may have been told of sightings of skirts bustling along the busy corridors of St Augustine's. I tell you that these schoolgirls of the Co-Educationalist Forces were repelled, repelled instantly at the very sight of our Special Prefectorial Guard. Now, the game has been exposed. Awe will overcome them. This is the boa snake. We will extend it further. Indeed, they are shocked because of what they have seen. The Guard, loyal to the Headmaster, did not fail in their duty. They are fortified by a spirit that will not be put down, the right arm of their leader behind them. We're waging comprehensive war against these forces and we will be victorious. The simple fact is this: these girls would be outsiders inside a school which has rejected them.

Our boys will not succumb to immorality and the temptations of the flesh with which Co-Educationalist Forces seek to corrupt us. These schoolgirls are not fit and have have no talent. Their failure in this regard is abysmal. Do not pick up one, because they are booby traps. This is part of the sick mind of the Co-Educationalist Forces. These cowards have no morals. They have started throwing in these pupils, but they are not pupils, they are booby traps to corrupt our boys. They are sick in their minds. We are in control, they are in a state of hysteria.

On strategy, our initial assessment is that sallies by the Co-Educationalist Forces will all fail. They are relying on what I called yesterday a stupid method. However should the Inner Quadrangle be ever breached by schoolgirls planted by the Co-Educationalist Forces, let there be no doubt that they will be walking into a trap from which they cannot escape. We will do something unconventional against them. This means: not by the military. I would not be giving out a secret when I say that action in the dark is effective. We will not hesitate to use the traditional schoolboy weapon of mass dispersal. Silent invisible yet deadly, it disperses rapidly, lingering pervasively and odorously in every corner for those that attempt to hide. These girls would be completely overcome. Our estimates are that none of them would come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly. Outclassed by this posterior weaponry these infiltrators will flee on their high heels to the quagmires of Barlow Moor regretting ever having placed their feet on this unhallowed ground.

There will be no regime change - This great school for boys, with its rich culture and traditions will continue under its present leadership of the Headmaster.

News Stripes in Magenta 2nd Grand Reunion Other Reunions has moved to

This is a move which allowed further reliabilty and expansion but it meant leaving the previous free web space. It is hoped that the cost of the webspace can be met from Reunion takings. If any of you wish to see personal contact details + photos, please send details to me either or via snail mail using the address at the end of this rag. Still plenty of room for expansion - All "Augustinia" welcome.

2nd Grand Reunion

The 2nd Grand Reunion will take place on 22 November 2003 at the Greater Manchester Police Sports and Social Club, Hough End.

Tickets from Martin Harding @ £17.50

Format will essentially be as 2001 with Buffet Meal and bar.
Entry by ticket - All ex-staff and old boys will be welcome(with or without partners).

Cheques should be made payable to St Augustines GS to Martin Harding at 19 Keats Avenue, Norden, Rochdale OL12 7PZ.
Tickets will act as receipts. Could you please ensure that you let him know the names of all those attending.

All help appreciated both in spreading the word and also on the day

Other Reunions

Please let the webmaster of any forthcoming year reunions
After the event, accounts of such may be published in this rag.

Old Boys Stripes in Magenta
1965 1966 1967 1968 1969 1970 1971 1972 1973 1974 1975 1976
Let us know something of what you've been doing since days of Sharston Mount ( )

Chris Ford < >

David Jamieson < >
Wife and 2 Children

Mark Brennan < > new email address

Tom Marinan < > new email address




Terence Moroney < >

George Hawthornthwaite < >

John Hall < >
Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire.07801 479321
Family.:Married since 1979, to Bernadette
1979 – 1994 HM Forces (Royal Military Police)Currently employed as a Scenes of Crime Officer in Hertfordshire Police (Western Area).

John Moran < > new email address

Andrew Stavordale < > new email address

John Darbyshire < >

.John Humphries and Martin Lannon < > joined the 6th form in 1976, from All Hallows.

Anthony Flannery < > new email address


.John Timmons < > new email address


Chris Mazzitelli < > new email address

.Anthony Green < > 'Greeny'
Occupation: Sales manager@ Manchester Saab
Family: one lad Bradley aged 16
Interests: Boozing & partying still
Famous Moments: going home during cross country running for half an hour.Getting strapped every day.nicking toffees off Kenny

St John Plessington




Old Staff Stripes in Magenta

Peter Foley < > new email address

Looking Back Stripes in Magenta


Who recognises any of these young 1970 football hopefuls...?

Contributed by John Hall

Sir, he’s Bambered my tie

There was a quote I’ll never forget by Paul Fletcher in the late 70s that always makes me smile.
We had to get up and give a book report in front of the class (maybe with Mr Scrowston).
Paul got up (book in hand) & in front of the class, cleared his throat to begin his report,
“This is a book” … he stopped, looked up & the class went into hysterics.

There was also a great quote that proved there were some psychotic teachers at St Augustines.
In a physics class, somebody noticed a window cleaner outside (2 floors up) and came out with
“He’s tall, Sir”
… and was immediately sent down to see Spike.

Contributed by Andrew Murphy

Spoken English:

"Oh Horace isn't it horrid when you're hot and in a hurry and you have to hold your hat on with your hand"
"Oh 'orass aint it 'orrid when yer 'ot an in an 'urry an' you 'aff to 'ol' yer 'at on wi' yer 'and" [Ed]

"In Herefordshire, Hertfordshire and Huntingdonshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen"

Contributed by Barny Booth

Miscellaneous Stripes in Magenta

Emily Bishop . . .

It St Augurs badly for this on-line community that the website has recently seen less action than Emily Bishop’s crotch.
Like Emily’s crotch (I imagine, but try not to), it has seen dry patches before. Periods when it has been flaky and less than satisfying for those that have entered it.
But again, like Emily, it has never been completely bald before. Comparison with the good Mrs Bishop’s front bottom will be stretched no further, to the delight of a few and the disappointment of many. (Perhaps that was the last one there. I make no promises.)

Having used a little bit of smut as a hook – you can’t underestimate your readers especially if they are Sharston Mount (increasingly) Old Boys – let us ask the serious question – why is no-one posting there anymore? How many of you in past months have asked to be removed from the site’s automatic emailing list?
I will confess – I did. Why? It is a strange contradiction – and perhaps it’s just me – that the less messages that were being forwarded to me, the less I was interested in receiving any at all.

I am writing this on the evening of April 17th. No new messages have been posted in 5 days. Very few have been posted all month and those few that have had been from about five people.
The site is still one of the few non-business-related ones I look at most days, but whereas once it filled a whole coffee break with new messages, now there is seldom enough to guarantee to me a decent skive.
Don’t you know how important it is to those of us who are doomed to sit in office in front of a PC all day (for older readers that’s a Personal Computer not a reference to a member of Her Majesty’s Constabulary) to have brief escape routes, to have Little Victories?
Little Victories are the keys to surviving office life. I believe it was a practice pioneered by the eponymous MASH team who (in the film/tv series) got through the horrors of the Vietnam War by putting one over on the power-that-be. You know the kind of thing: an illicit still here, a practical joke on a senior officer there.
Well that’s what the Internet offers the combatants in the drudgery of modern commerce. You think: “What shall I do now? Shall I write that article on “The Call Centre Revolution”? Or shall I download some comedy porn?”
Or perhaps that’s just me.
But I digress.
It is perhaps hypocritical that I of all people should bemoan the current paucity of new material on the site. I have been critical in the past, but never really of the site itself. Largely, I have taken the piss out of some of the attitudes of the contributors.
Roy Mannion blames the current non-hirsute-Corrie-fanny-like-state (bet that’s not in your Spellchecker) of the site on me being too acerbic. I think he is taking the piss.
But if that’s not the reason. what is? Maybe we’re just bored. Certainly the community does not seem to be growing. I say “seem”, because I have no figures on it. Perhaps Peter could enlighten us…
Therefore we have all told our best SA anecdotes, all patted our old acquaintances remotely on the back, had our playground skirmishes and moved on.
The Second Coming of SA – the virtual one - may have become trapped in aspic. There are no New Boys catching the 371 down the electronic superhighway.
There’s not much we can do about that. Sites like Friends Reunited offer no lifeline -–virtually everyone registered on the SA site is also registered on Friends Reunited. I know – sad git that I am – I checked.
I would say those that have not taken an interest in Virtual SA, took no interest in Actual SA. Or tried to shut it from their minds.
It maybe that or it maybe that there is hardly one of us now who is under 40. I am next year. So that leaves only one year – the 76 intake – clinging to its Very Late 30’s.
“What has that got to with it?” you may ask. Or you may just ask: “What the f%*k are you going on about in general?” Both are fair questions.
I suppose as you reach the end of your 30’s, most of us have experienced most things – childhood, education, teenagerdom, college, work, sex, marriage, children, alcohol, recreational drugs, affairs, divorce, remarriage etc.
The only thing that is left to be new to you by the time you reach your late 30’s is nostalgia. A factor, I suspect, which inspired the site in the first place.
But even this phase is a passing one. There is an old joke – probably one of Barney’s – “Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.” And indeed you can get as jaded with nostalgia as with virtually everything else (except sex, alcohol and recreational drugs obviously, especially if combined).
I haven’t really got a solution. Except maybe e should be more proactive and nominate some poor sod on a rotating basis to post a discussion theme. Or maybe we should try and spend of the cash in the bank in raising awareness of the site among The Missing.
I am sure other will have different and, probably, better solutions. Some might not even think it an issue worth considering.

Let us end where we started. Yes its back to Emily’s unloved and unvisited fanny. We all know how much in favour Spike was of Bishoprics. Why not be one?


Essential Latin - Some Useful Words

pitysma: nt what is spit out

sillybus: m label bearng a book's title

harundinosus: adj abounding in reeds

Plus de Franglais . . .

bougaire oeuf: to pellet someone with old eggs with runny yolks (figuratively or literally) .

Tu as vite oeuf: You have egg quickly

s'eau d'oeuf: egg white (literally the water of the egg)

Si vous parlez Franglais, envoyez quelques mots au rédacteur svp

Classified Stripes in Magenta
Serious and less serious adverts carried free of charge to friends of St Augustine's Grammar School.
Please submit to
Births Deaths and Marriages Stripes in Magenta

None reported


Mr Peter Haworth - father to David Haworth(69) - died 14 April 2003

None reported

None reported

Web Quote of 2003 (from Chambers)

Describing John Whatnall (1968 entry) and colleagues:

"Well known for servicing entrepreneurial clients,..."

. . . need we say more!

For the ManU supporters!

Tony Blair (anag) = Tory in Labour!

Regarding Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf

If you find any cybergems please email them to the editor

Letters to Editor Stripes in Magenta
Letters should be addressed to the editor

Thanks for your early expressions of interest. Even at this stage it looks like there will be a good attendance. Could I ask you to show just a little patience as I am finishing off a dissertation (yes I am stupid) and I am running round like the proverbial blue bottomed fly.
I have obtained a reduced price this year and the cost is £17.50 per head. You can send cheques if you like, made payable to St Augustines GS to myself at 19 Keats Avenue, Norden, Rochdale OL12 7PZ.
I will send out tickets which will act as receipts. Could you please ensure that you let me know the names of all those attending.


Martin Harding

Currently in UK, unfortunately for my father's funeral
Sorry I couldn't catch up with anyone on this vist but hope to be back around Christmas with family

Dave Haworth

A great issue. Please keep it going. >From the Headmaster was outstanding.
I was very sad to here that Kev Faure had died, Alan wrote a very moving tribute. Kevin was somebody to aspire to. I feel humble.
Hope you and your family are well
I am determined to write something for the next issue!!!! 
Trevor Baglin

Now working at Loreto College Manchester in the College Information Systems office.
Many thanks for giving us such a great newsletter/website.
Mike Maguire

Am busy revising for my OU exam on May 2nd - the sixth of seven modules towards a diploma in Computing for Commerce and Industry and from there, if I can cope, to an MSc in the same.   I'm still working for International Paper, based in Handforth, Cheshire and have been married (2nd time around) for 1 and half years now.  Life is excellent all round and I hope to be able to get to the next reunion whenever that is.  
All the best and see you soon I hope.

Andrew Stavordale

The Crossword? - well the free pint still has not found a lucky winner - apathy rules

Possible invalid/changed email addresses
All of the following email addresses bounce and no longer appear to be valid

Roman Pronyszyn (Mailbox disk quota exceeded) 69
Aidan Columb Connection timed out
David Hamnett No route to host
Steve (Jeff) Beck
< > temporarily over quota.
Dave Espley < >
< >
Mike Nelson < > User unknown
Paul Coffey < >
Paul Howells < > Unknown User
Tony Greenwood < >
< > User unknown
< >... User unknown
< > Message header size, or recipient list, exceeds policy limit.

All those invalid email addresses below have been removed from the mailing list and emails removed from website
Louie Gregg .
Barry Thorpe
Harry Davis
Noel Burke

If you are in contact with any of the above and know a recent email address please ask them to contact the webmaster with new address

Please let webmaster know of any email changes if you wish to receive further copies of "Stripes"

"Stripes in Magenta" is best viewed in electronic format. Clicking on blue underlined links will take you to specified WWW page or another point within this news letter. Printed copies wll not have this functionality.

Sadly, the Monsignor did not live to see the fruition of his work - "From the Headmaster" is, of course, entirely fictitious.

Please let the editor know if you do not wish to receive further issues.
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If you've enjoyed this issue, then keep it in press by submitting your contributions
These may include text, pictures, video and sound clips
Deadline for Michaelmas term issue: 21 September 2003
preferably by email to but if you've not yet moved into the 21st century:
Gorland, Old Scapa Rd, KIRKWALL, Orkney, KW15 1BB
or FAX 01856 870043 (Health Centre)

This news letter is produced in good faith but may contain inaccuracies.
Thanks to all those who have contributed.