Distributed to all Old Boys, Staff and
"Friends of St Augustine's" with known email addresses.
Please (print and) forward to any not on emailing list.
|"From the Headmaster"
||In place of the customary
Headmaster's address, (consequent
on the Headmaster's lack of availability for this
edition of "Stripes" )
** A statement will read by the Head of
Department for the Department of Information, **
Some of you
may have confused and bewildered by a story that
Co-Educationalist Forces have alighted and taken
control at the Gatley Bus Terminus: I can tell
you that this is complete nonsense - lies, lies
and infamous lies that are put about to frighten
you. They have been comprehensively defeated.They
are not within 100 miles of Gatley. I am not
afraid and neither should you be. Our boys
continue to traverse the streets of Gatley
freely. I can
assure you that those villains will recognize,
will discover in appropriate time in the future
how stupid they are and how they are pretending
things which have never taken place.
may have been told of sightings of skirts
bustling along the busy corridors of St
Augustine's. I tell you that these schoolgirls of
the Co-Educationalist Forces were repelled,
repelled instantly at the very sight of our
Special Prefectorial Guard. Now, the game has been
exposed. Awe will overcome them. This is the boa
snake. We will extend it further. Indeed, they are
shocked because of what they have seen. The Guard, loyal to
the Headmaster, did not fail in their duty. They
are fortified by a spirit that will not be put
down, the right arm of their leader behind them. We're waging comprehensive war
against these forces and we will be victorious.
The simple fact is this: these girls would be
outsiders inside a school which has rejected
will not succumb to immorality and the
temptations of the flesh with which
Co-Educationalist Forces seek to corrupt us. These schoolgirls are not fit
and have have no talent. Their failure in this
regard is abysmal. Do not pick up one, because
they are booby traps. This is part of the sick
the Co-Educationalist Forces. These cowards have no morals. They have started throwing in
these pupils, but they are not pupils, they are
booby traps to corrupt our boys. They are sick in their minds.
We are in control, they are in a state of
our initial assessment is that sallies by the
Co-Educationalist Forces will all fail. They are
relying on what I called yesterday a stupid
method. However should the Inner Quadrangle be
ever breached by schoolgirls planted by the
Co-Educationalist Forces, let there be no doubt
that they will be walking into a trap from which
they cannot escape. We will do something
unconventional against them. This means: not by
the military. I would not be giving out a secret
when I say that action in the dark is effective.
We will not
hesitate to use the traditional schoolboy weapon
of mass dispersal. Silent invisible yet deadly,
it disperses rapidly, lingering pervasively and
odorously in every corner for those that attempt
to hide. These
girls would be completely overcome. Our estimates are that none of
them would come out alive unless they surrender
to us quickly. Outclassed by this posterior
weaponry these infiltrators will flee on their
high heels to the quagmires of Barlow Moor
regretting ever having placed their feet on this
be no regime change - This great school for boys,
with its rich culture and traditions will
continue under its present leadership of the
||Stripes in Magenta
www.staugs.org has moved to www.staugs.org
This is a move which
allowed further reliabilty and expansion but it meant
leaving the previous free web space. It is hoped that the
cost of the webspace can be met from Reunion takings. If
any of you wish to see personal contact details +
photos, please send details to me either email@example.com or via snail mail using the address at the end
of this rag. Still plenty of room for expansion - All
The 2nd Grand Reunion will take place
on 22 November 2003 at the Greater Manchester Police
Sports and Social Club, Hough End.
Tickets from Martin Harding firstname.lastname@example.org @ £17.50
Format will essentially be as 2001 with
Buffet Meal and bar.
Entry by ticket - All ex-staff and old boys will be
welcome(with or without partners).
Cheques should be made payable to St
Augustines GS to Martin Harding at 19 Keats Avenue,
Norden, Rochdale OL12 7PZ.
Tickets will act as receipts. Could you please ensure
that you let him know the names of all those attending.
All help appreciated both in spreading
the word and also on the day
Please let the webmaster
of any forthcoming year reunions
After the event, accounts of such may be published in
||Stripes in Magenta
Who recognises any of
these young 1970 football hopefuls...?
Contributed by John Hall
Sir, hes Bambered my tie
was a quote Ill never forget by Paul Fletcher in
the late 70s that always makes me smile.
We had to get up and give a book report in front of the
class (maybe with Mr Scrowston).
Paul got up (book in hand) & in front of the class,
cleared his throat to begin his report,
This is a book
he stopped, looked up
& the class went into hysterics.
was also a great quote that proved there were some
psychotic teachers at St Augustines.
In a physics class, somebody noticed a window cleaner
outside (2 floors up) and came out with
Hes tall, Sir
and was immediately sent down to see Spike.
Contributed by Andrew Murphy
"Oh Horace isn't it horrid when you're hot and in
a hurry and you have to hold your hat on with your
"Oh 'orass aint it 'orrid when
yer 'ot an in an 'urry an' you 'aff to 'ol' yer 'at on
wi' yer 'and" [Ed]
"In Herefordshire, Hertfordshire and
Huntingdonshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen"
Contributed by Barny Booth
||Stripes in Magenta
Emily Bishop . . .
It St Augurs badly for this on-line
community that the website has recently seen less action
than Emily Bishops crotch.
Like Emilys crotch (I imagine, but try not to), it
has seen dry patches before. Periods when it has been
flaky and less than satisfying for those that have
But again, like Emily, it has never been completely bald
before. Comparison with the good Mrs Bishops front
bottom will be stretched no further, to the delight of a
few and the disappointment of many. (Perhaps that was the
last one there. I make no promises.)
Having used a little bit of smut as a
hook you cant underestimate your readers
especially if they are Sharston Mount (increasingly) Old
Boys let us ask the serious question why is
no-one posting there anymore? How many of you in past
months have asked to be removed from the sites
automatic emailing list?
I will confess I did. Why? It is a strange
contradiction and perhaps its just me
that the less messages that were being forwarded to me,
the less I was interested in receiving any at all.
I am writing this on the evening of April
17th. No new messages have been posted in 5 days. Very
few have been posted all month and those few that have
had been from about five people.
The site is still one of the few non-business-related
ones I look at most days, but whereas once it filled a
whole coffee break with new messages, now there is seldom
enough to guarantee to me a decent skive.
Dont you know how important it is to those of us
who are doomed to sit in office in front of a PC all day
(for older readers thats a Personal Computer not a
reference to a member of Her Majestys Constabulary)
to have brief escape routes, to have Little Victories?
Little Victories are the keys to surviving office life. I
believe it was a practice pioneered by the eponymous MASH
team who (in the film/tv series) got through the horrors
of the Vietnam War by putting one over on the
power-that-be. You know the kind of thing: an illicit
still here, a practical joke on a senior officer there.
Well thats what the Internet offers the combatants
in the drudgery of modern commerce. You think: What
shall I do now? Shall I write that article on The
Call Centre Revolution? Or shall I download some
Or perhaps thats just me.
But I digress.
It is perhaps hypocritical that I of all people should
bemoan the current paucity of new material on the site. I
have been critical in the past, but never really of the
site itself. Largely, I have taken the piss out of some
of the attitudes of the contributors.
Roy Mannion blames the current
non-hirsute-Corrie-fanny-like-state (bet thats not
in your Spellchecker) of the site on me being too
acerbic. I think he is taking the piss.
But if thats not the reason. what is? Maybe
were just bored. Certainly the community does not
seem to be growing. I say seem, because I
have no figures on it. Perhaps Peter could enlighten
Therefore we have all told our best SA anecdotes, all
patted our old acquaintances remotely on the back, had
our playground skirmishes and moved on.
The Second Coming of SA the virtual one - may have
become trapped in aspic. There are no New Boys catching
the 371 down the electronic superhighway.
Theres not much we can do about that. Sites like
Friends Reunited offer no lifeline -virtually
everyone registered on the SA site is also registered on
Friends Reunited. I know sad git that I am
I would say those that have not taken an interest in
Virtual SA, took no interest in Actual SA. Or tried to
shut it from their minds.
It maybe that or it maybe that there is hardly one of us
now who is under 40. I am next year. So that leaves only
one year the 76 intake clinging to its Very
What has that got to with it? you may ask. Or
you may just ask: What the f%*k are you going on
about in general? Both are fair questions.
I suppose as you reach the end of your 30s, most of
us have experienced most things childhood,
education, teenagerdom, college, work, sex, marriage,
children, alcohol, recreational drugs, affairs, divorce,
The only thing that is left to be new to you by the time
you reach your late 30s is nostalgia. A factor, I
suspect, which inspired the site in the first place.
But even this phase is a passing one. There is an old
joke probably one of Barneys
Nostalgia isnt what it used to be. And
indeed you can get as jaded with nostalgia as with
virtually everything else (except sex, alcohol and
recreational drugs obviously, especially if combined).
I havent really got a solution. Except maybe e
should be more proactive and nominate some poor sod on a
rotating basis to post a discussion theme. Or maybe we
should try and spend of the cash in the bank in raising
awareness of the site among The Missing.
I am sure other will have different and, probably, better
solutions. Some might not even think it an issue worth
Let us end where we started. Yes its back
to Emilys unloved and unvisited fanny. We all know
how much in favour Spike was of Bishoprics. Why not be
Essential Latin - Some Useful Words
what is spit out
label bearng a book's title
adj abounding in reeds
Plus de Franglais . . .
bougaire oeuf: to pellet
someone with old eggs with runny yolks (figuratively
or literally) .
Tu as vite oeuf: You have
s'eau d'oeuf: egg
white (literally the water of the egg)
Si vous parlez Franglais, envoyez
quelques mots au rédacteur
||Stripes in Magenta
|Letters should be addressed
to the editor
Thanks for your early expressions of interest.
Even at this stage it looks like there will be a good
attendance. Could I ask you to show just a little
patience as I am finishing off a dissertation (yes I am
stupid) and I am running round like the proverbial blue
I have obtained a reduced price this year and the cost is
£17.50 per head. You can send cheques if you like, made
payable to St Augustines GS to myself at 19 Keats Avenue,
Norden, Rochdale OL12 7PZ.
I will send out tickets which will act as receipts. Could
you please ensure that you let me know the names of all
Currently in UK, unfortunately for my father's
Sorry I couldn't catch up with anyone on this vist but
hope to be back around Christmas with family
A great issue. Please keep it
going. >From the Headmaster was outstanding.
I was very sad to here that Kev Faure had died, Alan
wrote a very moving tribute. Kevin was somebody to
aspire to. I feel humble.
Hope you and your family are well
I am determined to write
something for the next issue!!!!
Now working at Loreto College Manchester in the
College Information Systems office.
Many thanks for giving us such a great
Am busy revising for my OU exam on
May 2nd - the sixth of seven modules towards a diploma in
Computing for Commerce and Industry and from there, if I
can cope, to an MSc in the same. I'm
still working for International Paper, based in
Handforth, Cheshire and have been married (2nd time
around) for 1 and half years now. Life is excellent
all round and I hope to be able to get to the next
reunion whenever that is.
All the best and see you soon I hope.
The Crossword? - well the free pint
still has not found a lucky winner - apathy rules
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